Danielle, 19. I pretend I live in the Bay Area when I don't and I like bell peppers.
There are rapists who will die
And go to heaven
Because their god is forgiving.
Meanwhile children are told
They will go to hell
Because of who they love.
I’m having a lot of anxiety about going back to school because I’ve constantly been overloading myself with units (I fucked myself over this summer and the one before that) and also working at the same time and my new job scares me but I need it because I need my own car and stuff and it’s really upsetting me. I tried talking to my mum about it and she just doesn’t fucking get it I can’t even talk to her. I keep getting horrible headaches like 1 week out of every month for the last 4 months because I can’t fucking take care of myself and I go through these fits of starving. I’m scared all the time, I miss my friends, and I just want to meet cool people, go to shows, and learn how to draw cool shit with cool mediums. I just really don’t want to be in this town anymore and I feel like a fucking failure and I’m going nowhere.
Buahahaha so the asshole who led me on senior year in high school shaved his head and it looks so fucking stupid. Jokes on you, you fugly motherfucker.
What the fuck I’m working two jobs now what has this little snowflake gotten herself into?
Ahhh I’m so nervous and I start tomorrow morning!
It’s so ridiculous the amount of pressure I have put myself under for school. Even in high school, despite the fact I only took like 2 1/2 AP classes and a couple extra curriculars, I prioritized education so high above my own health and my own personal needs. One day I rode my bike to school, got hit by a car and even though the school nurse told me to go home and rest, I refused to leave because I was so afraid of missing my AP class and my extracurriculars. There have been so many nights where I’ve stayed up late doing assignments I haven’t even procrastinated on and not thinking that I deserved sleep because I wasn’t working hard enough. Even the morning after, I’d still be up late that night not taking care of myself, not sleeping, and now I’ve been taking so many classes each semester/intersession trying to power through units and get out of this forsaken wasteland and it’s destroying my mind/mental health and I still keep doing this to myself. I haven’t had a vacation or any real time off probably since high school and it’s hurting. It sucks that I worked so hard in high school to only go to a community college and live with my parents.