Danielle, 19. I pretend I live in the Bay Area when I don't and I like bell peppers.
I never thought I’d feel so confident as a blonde! Blonde always kinda repelled me but I feel so unbelievably incredible. I might even grow out my hair. I mean I liked my dark hair because the colors constitute an illusion of mystery but first off I never really liked having brown hair because that’s the color of poop (call it chocolate all you want but we all know it’s poop) and also despite the fact that brown hair is genetically the most common hair, and it really did look good with my pale features and eyebrows (I never saw really anyone look like me which was a blessing and a curse) but with brown I felt generic. I enjoyed black hair, but eventually I had my curiosities of red hair, which I enjoyed very much but it totally threw off my coloring even though it looked good with my eyebrows but blonde is so new and how some enjoy not wearing makeup is how I feel not having color in my hair. I feel my thoughts flow from my lobes into the universe and as far as sex appeal goes, especially with baby buns in my hair, and dark eyebrows peering out from my pores, I channel clementine kruczynski and that girl from (game of thrones which I still have yet to watch) more than I ever did Elizabeth Taylor or maybe Winona Ryder (except I always feel like I had some Lydia Deetz/Charlotte Flax personality type in me).
Hehe my parents were watching Fox News today and Mitt Romney held a baby and it started crying. Children are the future and that makes me smile.
So I get these really awful headaches like all the time and I get really bad heat exhaustion if I’m outside too long even if I drink enough water and my parents are just being like total assholes right now because I apparently don’t eat enough protein and my dad is just being totally obnoxious with his fucking blueberry Greek yogurt and he’s going off about all the stupid benefits like “oh this little thing just totally fills you up and the blueberry has antioxidants which is good for your brain.” I fully support blueberries but the yogurt oh my god no. Plus I try to avoid dairy anyway (even tho I had eggs this morning because I’m trying to get through this day without feeling like I’m going to pass out standing up). Well jeez that would be totally great if yogurt regardless of it’s nationality didn’t taste like a sick cow and my mum is yelling at me to eat fucking Greek yogurt when she tells me all the time how much she hates the taste. And last night I went out to dinner with my family last night and I ordered tofu because I wanted to expand my mind and taste (I like it in soup but I’ve never had it outside a liquid) and everyone was all like what the actual fuck is the liberal hippie scum eating (I’m paraphrasing here) Wow tofu in our family? Yeah that’s a little weird! If I ever said that about anyone else who was eating beef or shrimp, I would be written off as completely rude, so why is it okay to say that to me? I mean I already feel bad about virtually anything I eat unless it’s salad or fruit or naked juice (which now annoys me because their calcium is derived from formaldehyde).
There are rapists who will die
And go to heaven
Because their god is forgiving.
Meanwhile children are told
They will go to hell
Because of who they love.
I’m having a lot of anxiety about going back to school because I’ve constantly been overloading myself with units (I fucked myself over this summer and the one before that) and also working at the same time and my new job scares me but I need it because I need my own car and stuff and it’s really upsetting me. I tried talking to my mum about it and she just doesn’t fucking get it I can’t even talk to her. I keep getting horrible headaches like 1 week out of every month for the last 4 months because I can’t fucking take care of myself and I go through these fits of starving. I’m scared all the time, I miss my friends, and I just want to meet cool people, go to shows, and learn how to draw cool shit with cool mediums. I just really don’t want to be in this town anymore and I feel like a fucking failure and I’m going nowhere.