Despite how silly this picture is, I’ve actually been tempest of emotions. I can’t even explain how lately I’ve just been feeling things deeper (and I swear if you’re going to be all like “women are. more emotional/sensitive than men”, I will, in the words of Wendi Aarons, shove your [genetalia] up a George Foreman grill.
Today I drove down the same very road I took when I ran away from home. It was morning and there were cloud out, but the sun still gently shone of the mountain range in a language that told me today was mine. Going through my mindset three weeks ago and my mindset today…I can’t even describe it. A lot of things have changed…some for better, some for worse. And maybe this sensory overload is getting the best of me and maybe my walls that I’ve assiduously put up are finally coming down. I have friends who literally radiate sunshine and teakettles sitting on the basking in the soft diffused light coming from the flower-box window. Today was probably one of the first days I’ve ever felt like that. I was at Walmart and even whilst driving I felt these strange citrus colored connections. People were just so nice and maybe it’s this commercialized change of the season that somehow turns this town of narcissists into—humans. Even still with the things I’m feeling and experiencing, it’s unpredictable and it’s difficult, but it’s wonderful.
resisting every urge to curl up in my bed and watch pulp fiction or amelie and fighting every nerve in my body that pushes me to read about psychopaths oh please someone help me why must the market revolution/antebellum period be so monotonous and yet antebellum is such a pretty word that rolls off the tongue mmmmmmmm this is a damn fine cup of coffee